Beyond G.A.S.

Everyone knows the term G.A.S. Right? It’s short for Gear Acquisition Syndrome which is what happens when you learn about a new item for your studio – be it an intriguing software instrument, a new and interesting controller or just a synth that suddenly strikes your fancy. Something that you suddenly realize that you have to have and you can’t make music without it, thus going on a shopping spree on ebay, reading classifieds and doing what you can to fulfill this sudden need. Without making any new music until you have it in your trembling hands, of course.

For some, this is a chronic syndrome, leading to well-equipped and wonderful studios, and a handful of songs at best.

I propose something even more horrifying: A curse, which I will call SisyGAS.

Remember Sisyfos, who was sentenced to spend an eternity trying to roll a boulder up a hill, the irritating boulder always rolling down again when he was almost finished?

Well, I have seen SisyGAS and it’s worse. Imagine selling one of your studio belongings just to be able to afford the G.A.S-infected item you crave – but the very act of selling another piece of gear made you contract SisyGAS - leading to an eternity of missed opportunities. You will now never acquire that one piece of gear that will enable you to make the most fantastic music ever imagined, leading to fame, fortune, and front rows of female fans – because at the very last moment you will be sniped at ebay, you will always be number two on the phone (“oh sorry, I just sold it to another bloke five minutes ago”) etc.

Rumor has it that every Roland JV1080 that left the factory has been cursed with SisyGAS, so be careful.